The Morning After
Picking up the pieces.
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On the morning when the Proteas crashed out of the 2022 T20 World Cup, I woke up to a WhatsApp message that Mark Boucher would be facing the media in the post-match conference. It was then that I knew that the Proteas had lost to the Dutch. Boucher faced the media when the Proteas had lost in a bad way.
Some teams send the assistant coach to face the media in such situations. When Pakistan suffered an eight-wicket loss to England, Shaun Tait spoke out loud the quiet part when he quipped to journalists, "They send me when we get beaten badly.”
During the 2019 ODI World Cup, the Proteas often sent Faf du Plessis. But that campaign was such a shambles that at some point du Plessis sent Chris Morris to face the media. That didn’t go down well.
I don't remember Ottis Gibson getting in the firing line. Maybe he did and I just don't remember him doing it. But, Boucher has been consistent enough for me to know that when he faces the media at a post-match conference it's bad news. He was wearing the same look he wore when the Proteas were humiliated by New Zealand in the first Test when they lost by an innings and 276 runs. And just like back then, Boucher couldn’t put a finger on why the team’s energy had been low - deja vu.
On the morning when the Proteas crashed out of the T20 World Cup, there was anger and recrimination, fingers were pointed and I wanted heads to roll.
I dug up a draft article that I had abandoned a week before. It discussed instances when captains had stepped down for the good of the team. While working on that, the closest example that I learned of was Mike Denness. During the 1974-75 Ashes, Mike Denness, England's Ashes captain, dropped himself for the fourth Test in Sydney. The beleaguered captain had managed only 65 runs in six innings. I say beleaguered because Denness was not a popular choice with the English press. Denness’ critics claimed that he wasn't a good enough batsman to justify a place in the side.
When he was not being peppered by fast bowling, which he was weak against, he was peppered with unflattering articles. The English press was brutal. They said he was an embarrassment to his side. One publication stated that England needed runs, but Denness was not the player to get them for the team.
I had started to work on it after Temba Bavuma had had a three-match run of low scores at the world cup. It was an angry piece. I wanted Reeza Hendricks to play at least a single match. His form was too good for him to spend the tournament in the dugout. I empathised with Hendricks. I know his struggle.
After being snubbed for the 2019 ODI World Cup, Reeza lost interest in the game. He showed up at the Lions training and matches, but just went through the motions because he had to be there. He had done all that was required of him on the domestic circuit and had made a reasonable start to his ODI career, but it had not been enough. It took Hendricks time to rediscover his love and enjoyment for the game.
In 2022, Hendricks was a different gravy with the bat. Someone once asked Adam Gilchrist about his favourite moment with the bat. The former Australian wicketkeeper said his favourite moment was the fraction of a second when the ball made contact with the middle of his bat, and only he, out of the people in the world, knew the connection was sweet and perfect. In 2022, Hendricks had a lot of those moments. He was in the form of his life.
Now, it was 2019 all over again for Reeza Hendricks. Only this time, he had also made the trip to the World Cup.
But, I did not go through with it for two reasons. One, Denness caught a lot of flack after dropping himself from the starting XI. He was called weak, “a player was supposed to believe in themself of not bother playing the game at all…” He was damned if he did, he was damned if he didn’t. Two, the responsibility to drop Bavuma was not supposed to be on Bavuma. Jayasuriya and his panel dropped Dinesh Chandimal on the eve of Sri Lanka’s 2014 T20 World Cup against the West Indies. They did their job because they felt that Chandimal was failing in his duties.
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On the morning when the Proteas crashed out of the T20 World Cup, I was angry. I felt that with the XI that had played against the Netherlands, the Proteas should have won. Comfortably. That didn’t happen. The Dutch sprung an upset. Someone should have reminded me that upsets are good for the sport when others suffer them and not your team. I was angry over the upset. I was so angry over the upset that I made a list of all the wrong decisions the selectors had made. I also made a list of all the wrong decisions the team had made. I had the idea to write a scathing post-mortem.
I was angry at myself for believing. And I was angry at the Proteas for making me believe.
As the day wore on I immersed myself in Division 2 4-day cricket. I also took part in an arts and crafts challenge against my six-year-old daughter. She won because she is good at those things. If you have ever left a tip on Stumped! just know that some of your money probably went towards glue and other stationary supplies for her to indulge in her hobby. The Proteas’ loss retreated from the front of my thoughts.
24 hours after the Proteas crashed out of the T20 World Cup, ‘the morning after,’ I was in a better state of mind. I could look to the future. It is what it is, life goes on and all that jazz. Yes, every now and then I will feel something - hurt and disappointment, the standard emotions. But, my life will not change. What I do will not be affected by it. My legacy will not be affected.
In 2006 Herschelle Gibbs played one of the most insane ODI innings to help the Proteas beat Australia in the 438-game. I smile when I think of that game or when the highlights of the match came on. Herschelle Gibbs will always be the guy who did the impossible in that match. That’s part of his legacy.
On Monday morning, I was already back at work, writing new articles, transcribing interviews and brainstorming ideas with other writers. This is the luxury I enjoy as a fan, spectator and writer. These are flesh wounds.
There is no ‘morning after’ recovery for Bavuma and his team, just as there was no ‘morning after’ recovery for Graeme Smith, AB de Villiers and others. After the Proteas’ disastrous quarter-final loss to New Zealand at the 2011 World Cup, Graeme Smith resigned as ODI and T20 captain. It tainted his legacy. The 2015 World Cup semifinal loss left AB de Villiers scarred. He considers it one of the highest disappointments of his career. He has never gotten over it. Members of that team took more than a year to reach a point where they could start dealing with it.
I get the sense of the same from the Proteas. Some guys have retreated from the public, understandably. Those that are speaking with people outside the team are showing the emotional strain. They are broken, shattered, lost, upset, numb… take your pick of descriptive words synonymous with gutted.
Gutted.
I don’t get to live with the failure. Bavuma and his teammates do. They cannot just walk away from it. Life doesn’t just go on. They do not have that luxury. In some ways, this campaign will also define them. In certain circles and conversations, this is an event that will be used against them. This is their scarlet letter. They will always be the team that crashed out of a world cup, beaten by the Netherlands - the worst team of the tournament. It will be a constant kick to the nether regions.
Whenever the 2022 T20 World Cup is brought up, there will be pain. The kind of pain born out of disappointment. For this Proteas team, it will be the pain of failure. They are a bunch of failures, chokers, underachievers, might-have-beens. Pick a limiting term of choice. They have to live with the tag.
And somehow, they will have to find ways to pick up the pieces from this wreckage. It will not be easy. Some guys might need external help.