The Bogeyman
Sometimes it doesn't make sense, but it happens
One time, Albert Pujols, the greatest hitter of a generation, faced Jennie Finch during a pregame practice session. During the 2022 season, Pujols moved into second place all-time for career RBIs and total bases and became the fourth player with 700 career home runs.
Finch was a softball pitcher who pitched at speeds in the upper 60 mph range. Instead of the regular pitching distance, she pitched 17 feet closer, so her pitches arrived at the home plate about the same time as a 95 mph fastball. 95 mph pitches are routine for professional baseball players. Pujols at these pitches for breakfast. Also, the softball is bigger, which means greater chances for easier contact.
Pujols twisted his leg on the ground and stared back at Finch. She had unleashed two underhand pitches that he had no idea what to do with. The first had startled him and the second he hadn’t known what to do with. The third pitch was right down the middle. Pujols uncoiled a violent swing but failed to make contact. He missed the next one, and the one after that.
The experience left him bewildered and embarrassed, his teammates were tittering in the dugout. From where they were sitting, Pujols’ attempts to hit the ball had looked amateurish and pathetic. “I don’t want to experience that again,” Pujols resolved as he walked away.
This newsletter is completely reader-supported. If you’re willing and able, please consider supporting it in one of two ways, leaving a tip or becoming a Patreon. Thank you so much for your time and investment!
On the sixth of October 2022, South Africa’s T20 team walked away from a 13-run defeat at the hands of the Netherlands in a World Cup match with the same resolution. South African fans were spared the blushes because the Titanic sank while they were sleeping. One year and 11 days later, the Dutch performed the double over South Africa while most of the cricketing universe was wide awake. Scott Edwards and his team outplayed South Africa to record a 38-run win in a second successive ICC event.
Watching South Africa play the Netherlands at ICC events is like watching Pujols facing Finch. They look bewildered 90% of the time. With the bat, they swing wildly without making contact, flail hopelessly when fielding, and bowl to the opposition batters’ strength. It’s mind-boggling. It’s like watching Mike Tyson fight Buster Douglas.
Boxing fans of a certain age will remember the Mike Tyson-Buster Douglas fight. In 1990, Tyson was the undisputed heavyweight champion and Douglas was… well, the bookies had him at 42/1. Tyson was the better boxer, was stronger and had a better support team.
But, despite all that, nothing went according to plan for Tyson and his camp on the night. An enduring memory is of a frustrated Jay Bright, Tyson’s cornerman, screaming at Tyson after an ineffectual and lacklustre third round. “Don’t just stand there and look at him, you’ve gotta work,” Bright shouted.
Tyson’s corner gave him sound advice round after round. That also didn’t help the situation because somehow, Tyson was unable to follow the fight plan. Eventually, after punishing the champion for nine rounds, Douglas took his opponent out of his misery. In a famous scene, Tyson was on the canvas, fumbling for his mouthpiece, when he found it, he stuck one end in his mouth with the other end hanging out. Douglas had knocked out the undisputed heavyweight champion. It was illogical.
Australia has two of the best pacers in 50-over cricket in their unit and an ODI top-five spin bowler. Their bowling attack is led by Mitchell Starc, an ODI World Cup legend. He was the highest wicket-taker in the past two editions of the 50-over tournament. In 2019, he took 27 wickets in 10 innings at an average of 18.59 and an economy of 5.43 runs an over.
Starc is among the top 10 wicket-takers, his strike rate of 20.51 was the second-best of the tournament. He is currently fifth on the list of highest wicket-takers in ODI World Cup history, behind Glenn McGrath (71), Muttiah Muralitharan (68), Lasith Malinga (56) and Wasim Akram (55).
South African batters are not fazed by Starc’s record or his skills and abilities. When Australia met South Africa at the 2023 World Cup, South African batters were positive and looking to score. They harvested 53 runs for the cost of two wickets in Starc’s nine overs. South African batters treated him and the rest of Australia’s bowling attack with disdain as they steamrolled their way to a 134-run win.
Do you know which bowlers South African batters treat with deference? Bas de Leede, Aryan Dutt, Logan van Beek, Colin Ackermann, Paul van Meekeren and Roelof van Merwe. The Proteas are probably the only team in the world that can make these guys look like peak Glenn McGrath, Muttiah Muralitharan, Lasith Malinga and Wasim Akram.
At this point, it is safe to say, that no matter how many times the Proteas will resolve to never want to experience the humiliation of losing to the Dutch ever again, they are powerless and cannot stop it from happening just as Tyson couldn’t stop Douglas and Pujols couldn’t hit Finch’s deliveries. There is no explanation for it, yet it happens. The Dutch are the Proteas’ bogeyman.
If you found this interesting, please share it:
You can support Stumped! by leaving a tip:
Thanks for reading. Until next time… - CS